whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
