I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
