Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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