some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if only i could text you this smell
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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