how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
