life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We have so much sex to catch up on
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
