my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
