would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
