cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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