of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
