i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
