I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
