I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
