I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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