Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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