How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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