Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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