apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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