i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Tornado booty call.. dedication
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize