if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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