Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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