Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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