i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sobbing to NWA
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
