Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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