mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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