It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
