Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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