This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
