Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
