Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
