you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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