she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
