About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
