his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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