his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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