Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize