So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
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Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
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She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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