His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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