Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
