Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
