maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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