love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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