This is not my ceiling
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
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