legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
