I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
