I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
