Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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