Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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