It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
