Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
