It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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