I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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