I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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