I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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