just come out here and I will go home with you...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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