He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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