Heybabeimwearingurpanties
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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