her vagine was all disorganized.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
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I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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