In the future we'll all be gay
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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