we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize