dude i'm inner monologue high
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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