I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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