We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
