She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
