I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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