Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
